Autor: Gregorio Kus (Grego_at_RMnet.it)
Data: Thu 29 May 1997 - 03:00:25 MET DST
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The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
Her Majesty's govt conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be
known as "EuroEnglish": -- In the first year, "s" will replace
the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil sevants
jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year,
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben
a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should
go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar,
ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar
changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
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-- /----------------------------------------------------------------- Gregorio Kus Grego_at_RMnet.it Grego_at_cyberspace.org ROMA, Italy 2ndAdmin_at_iName.com Grego_at_FreeNet.hut.fi Anonymous Mail Service - http://free.rmnet.it/~grego/AnonMail.html
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